Smother (Lindy Zart)

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You won’t like me.
I am not the nice girl. I am not your friend.
I don’t care about you, but most of all, I don’t care about me.
Go ahead, hate me.
We all have secrets.
I have them as well—dark, terrible secrets.
The only time I can breathe is when I forget.
I need to be numb. You don’t want to know how.
But as long as I can breathe, the past cannot smother me.


I read this book out of hype and peer pressure and I HATE when I do that. I liked Lindy Zart’s book Unlit Star so much. I figured, oh what the hell, I’ll break into it. She had been doing lots of promoting of it on Facebook and it just so happened to go on sale so I grabbed it. Terrible idea. And to top it off I bought another book from hers that I am now too scared to break into. I am embarrassingly used to reading in first person. And it takes me a while to get back to third person so I had to adjust to that but besides that point I found the writing to be exceptional. I guess I just wasn’t really into this book. Mainly because the little excerpts we got of Leo’s mind at the beginning of each chapter was not enough for me. I wanted into his head much more than I was allowed.

Reese is working for Leo but she also lives in his apartment building after he finds her alone and lost. For some reason (that you find out) she is nothing but hateful and angry at Leo as opposed to thankful and appreciative of his actions. The whole book you watch her deal with her attraction to Leo while all he wants to do is help Reese and get nothing in return. Reese was a very difficult person for me to stand by and support. I wanted out of her head and into Leo’s more times than none but I dealt. I thought to myself, “Hey, maybe it will get better”. Reese is out for self-destruction and self-destruction alone. I think she just tries to save herself the wrong ways. And at the same time Leo has a hard time trying to save her also.

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You don’t get to hear much from Leo and when you do it is in sentences that aren’t even completed. I felt like she made him sound like a cave man. It was annoying. I found Leo to be very intriguing and an awesome hero. Well, once I found out his motives. There wasn’t much any one could do to fix or save Reese.

”Have you ever watched an injured bird struggle to fly? It’s heartbreaking. You want to help them, but you know if you try, they’ll hurt themselves more. That’s what it’s like to watch Reese in motion.” ~Leo

“I am not a good man. I don’t know if I am a bad one, but I know I’m not a good one. She looks at me like I am, though, and because of that, I want to be.” ~Leo

Of course there are climaxes (not that kind, get your head out of the gutter) and a couple of twists and I did find those interesting. And I do feel like Reese got the redemption that she deserved. I was ready to get to the ending of this book at about 32% in. I always say if it takes you 3-4 days to finish a book chances are you don’t like it and it’s not that great. It took me almost 6 days to finish this. I felt like I had accomplished absolutely nothing.

“She felt herself die a little more, resigned to the fate that was always to be hers. It was inescapable, the equivalent of trying to outrun herself, impossible. “

I feel like the book had a great message. Great characters. And even better quotes and lines. I just felt as thought my time was wasted. And I can’t get that back. Oh well, you live and you learn.

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