Cutting breaks through my numbness, but only opens more wounds.
Depression, self-harm, bullying….that’s my reality.
Sex and guys….that’s my escape.
The space between the truth and lies is blurred leaving me torn, lost and confused. And while the monsters that live in my head try to beat me– the two men that I love try to save me.
This is my story of friendship, heartache, and the grueling journey that is mental-illness.
Sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found…
This one broke me to pieces. Shattered. There are still pieces of myself that are just stuck inside this book and I don’t know if I’ll ever get them back. I don’t know if I want them back.
When we meet Jessica she is in high school and suffers not just from depression on her own but as a result of the bullying she goes through from other people at her school. She hurts. She’s alone. And she’s vulnerable.
But the story doesn’t just focus on a high school relationship. In fact it picks up years later. What is beautiful about this story is that as much as it is a romance it’s also about so much more. Hope and love and redemption. This book is about Jessica. It’s about her recovery and her growth as a person during very turmoil filled years.
At this point (the years later), I think is where the book turned out to be amazing. You get to see the story from the lowest points, the middle points, and the high points. The dark and the light and the gray. Even if Jessica didn’t see the gray. I did. I felt it.
I remembered every detail. In this story, it’s important. I remembered purple, and snowflake pins, and force fields and rain boots.
There are a lot of tough topics and incidents in this book but I thank Kathryn for shedding light on them. We all hurt. We all have a past that hurts when we look back on it. Some people don’t handle that as well as others and there’s no reason for them to be treated any different because of it. We are all only human. We all have different demons.
I liked Jace from the get go. Sure he had issues of his own but I just feel like his intentions were good. I loved his and Jessica’s time together. I felt like I was right there with them. Raw and uncut.
With saying that, Kingsley stripped me and stole my heart completely. He was the epitome of everything I had hoped Jace could be for Jessica but so much more. I still think he was the better of the two. Because if not for Kingsley, Jessica would have never began healing. And if not for Jessica, Kingsley would still be broken.
But when THAT PART happens, I lost it. Absolutely lost my shit. Bawling. Distraught. I was so hurt and I quite frankly didn’t want to finish the book without well, spoiler. Can’t say.
Thanks, Maria for the recommendation. It’s definitely worth the read and the tears that were shed.