Smother (Lindy Zart)

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You won’t like me.
I am not the nice girl. I am not your friend.
I don’t care about you, but most of all, I don’t care about me.
Go ahead, hate me.
We all have secrets.
I have them as well—dark, terrible secrets.
The only time I can breathe is when I forget.
I need to be numb. You don’t want to know how.
But as long as I can breathe, the past cannot smother me.

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I read this book out of hype and peer pressure and I HATE when I do that. I liked Lindy Zart’s book Unlit Star so much. I figured, oh what the hell, I’ll break into it. She had been doing lots of promoting of it on Facebook and it just so happened to go on sale so I grabbed it. Terrible idea. And to top it off I bought another book from hers that I am now too scared to break into. I am embarrassingly used to reading in first person. And it takes me a while to get back to third person so I had to adjust to that but besides that point I found the writing to be exceptional. I guess I just wasn’t really into this book. Mainly because the little excerpts we got of Leo’s mind at the beginning of each chapter was not enough for me. I wanted into his head much more than I was allowed.

Reese is working for Leo but she also lives in his apartment building after he finds her alone and lost. For some reason (that you find out) she is nothing but hateful and angry at Leo as opposed to thankful and appreciative of his actions. The whole book you watch her deal with her attraction to Leo while all he wants to do is help Reese and get nothing in return. Reese was a very difficult person for me to stand by and support. I wanted out of her head and into Leo’s more times than none but I dealt. I thought to myself, “Hey, maybe it will get better”. Reese is out for self-destruction and self-destruction alone. I think she just tries to save herself the wrong ways. And at the same time Leo has a hard time trying to save her also.

You don’t get to hear much from Leo and when you do it is in sentences that aren’t even completed. I felt like she made him sound like a cave man. It was annoying. I found Leo to be very intriguing and an awesome hero. Well, once I found out his motives. There wasn’t much any one could do to fix or save Reese.

”Have you ever watched an injured bird struggle to fly? It’s heartbreaking. You want to help them, but you know if you try, they’ll hurt themselves more. That’s what it’s like to watch Reese in motion.” ~Leo

“I am not a good man. I don’t know if I am a bad one, but I know I’m not a good one. She looks at me like I am, though, and because of that, I want to be.” ~Leo

Of course there are climaxes (not that kind, get your head out of the gutter) and a couple of twists and I did find those interesting. And I do feel like Reese got the redemption that she deserved. I was ready to get to the ending of this book at about 32% in. I always say if it takes you 3-4 days to finish a book chances are you don’t like it and it’s not that great. It took me almost 6 days to finish this. I felt like I had accomplished absolutely nothing.

“She felt herself die a little more, resigned to the fate that was always to be hers. It was inescapable, the equivalent of trying to outrun herself, impossible. “

I feel like the book had a great message. Great characters. And even better quotes and lines. I just felt as thought my time was wasted. And I can’t get that back. Oh well, you live and you learn.

Gus (Kim Holden)

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  This is the story of Gus.  Losing himself.  Finding himself.  And healing along the way.  “ … but the honest-to-God truth is I don’t even know how to function anymore. Bright Side wasn’t only my best friend; she was like my other half … the other half of my brain, the other half of my conscience, the other half of my sense of humor, the other half of my creativity, the other half of my heart. How do you go back to doing what you did before, when half of you is gone forever?”

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This was AMAZING. Pure awesomeness. When I read Bright Side I fell in deep. I cried more than anything in that book. But most of all I wanted the best for Gus. I wanted his happily ever after. I wanted his closure. And Kim Holden supplies us with that. I really loved Kate. Truly did. But Gus hit me hard. You get to watch him hit rock bottom after Bright Side and you get to watch him heal. If you read Bright Side and you’re anything like me you really wanted that closure and healing for Gus. I wanted it so bad. You get to see Keller and Stella. And you get to love Audrey even more than before.  And who doesn’t love the Bright Side posse? I DID! I highlighted page after page after page. I know I usually post quotes in my reviews from the story but honestly I can’t do that with this one. I would have to post the whole book. Gus is Gus. I can’t sit here and describe him to you. I guess he’s just epic.  I feel like Kim felt obligated to write this book so that those of us who had a hard time getting over Bright Side could finally adjust and move on with our lives and she executed that. Knowing the Keller and Gus and Audrey and even the band got to have that peace makes me happy.  I’ve already told her how thankful I am that I got my own closure so if you’ve read Bright Side go pick up Gus and be epic again. If you haven’t read Bright Side then please don’t talk to me until you have.

True Love Story (Willow Aster)

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Sparrow Fisher is transforming. No longer dressed up in antiquated clothes and ideals, she is finally trying on her freedom.

Before she moves to New York City, she meets Ian Sterling, a musician Sparrow has dreamed about since she first saw him. The attraction is instant, but their relationship isn’t so simple.

Over a five year span, Sparrow and Ian run into each other in unusual places. Each time, Sparrow has to decide if she can trust him, if he feels the same for her, and finally, if love is really enough.

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Now let me just start off by saying that I have NEVER read one of Willow Aster’s books that I haven’t liked. I Loved Maybe Maby. Devoured In The Fields. But I straight up POUNDED this story. I bought it, opened it up, and did not stop until I was completely DONE. The angst in this book was at a whole other level. And the intensity was turned up the entire book. Who freaking cries in the middle of a book? ME THAT’S WHO.

“It’s been a year, two months, and seventeen days since I last saw him. Two years, ten months, and five days since he broke my heart – well, since I knew that he had broken my heart.
Technically, he began breaking my heart the moment I met him, five years, eleven months and one day ago.”

The book begins in the present when Sparrow Fisher accidentally bumps into her ex, Ian Sterling at the airport. They share something intense, it’s so obvious but their past is even more intense. Naturally, Ian broke Sparrow’s heart in some way shape or form and it is terrible (we do gather that much).

After you get a taste of their present you get to shift way back to the past and you learn how they met and how they fell in love. The relationship grew slowly but it was so beautiful. It was probably one of the most realistic “book relationships” that I have ever read about. Okay so since this is my book blog I get to voice my opinion. Sparrow and Ian are so perfect together. And so perfect for each other. She’s pure and so full of positivity and life and he is the stubborn and older one. They have the funnest relationship I could even imagine. As they were falling in love with each other I was falling in love with them also. With them, their story, their qualities, their relationship. It was all so beautiful. Even when they went so long without seeing each other they pick right back up to where they started and don’t even miss a beat with each other.

But then…77% into the book and BAM. My freaking heart….GONE.

I threw my Kindle and I wept. A lot. And I hurt. A lot. Okay sooo I seen it coming. I knew it but maybe I was in denial and I just didn’t want to believe it? Who knows, all that matters is that it hurt so bad. And it sucked. God, I was so mad. Especially the last 25% of the story. My emotions were out of this damn world. I can’t tell you how it ends. You may like it and you may hate it. I can’t tell you how to react but just know that there will be a reaction. A LOT OF THEM.

I think I cried more in this book then I did laugh. And usually it’s the other way around but nope. Willow killed this book. And me along the way. Watching all of the characters evolve is always one of my favorite thing about reading and they changed so much. But it was in a positive and radiating way. A way that every person wishes to grow at one point.

“Love is enough.
Love does conquer all.
Love really does always protect, trust, hope, persevere…
I’d even go as far as saying that love never fails. I finally believe that.”

So if you haven’t read this captivating and angsty story why are you not one clicking it yet? I have said it before and I will say it again. It’s in my top 5 of all time and I will stand by that until proven otherwise. It was one of those stories that stays with me ALL THE TIME. I am always thinking about Ian and Sparrow. Replaying their story and it’s the only book I have read more than 6 times.

 

Burying Water (K.A. Tucker)

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Left for dead in the fields of rural Oregon, a young woman defies all odds and survives—but she awakens with no idea who she is, or what happened to her. Refusing to answer to “Jane Doe” for another day, the woman renames herself “Water” for the tiny, hidden marking on her body—the only clue to her past. Taken in by old Ginny Fitzgerald, a crotchety but kind lady living on a nearby horse farm, Water slowly begins building a new life. But as she attempts to piece together the fleeting slivers of her memory, more questions emerge: Who is the next-door neighbor, quietly toiling under the hood of his Barracuda? Why won’t Ginny let him step foot on her property? And why does Water feel she recognizes him?

Twenty-four-year-old Jesse Welles doesn’t know how long it will be before Water gets her memory back. For her sake, Jesse hopes the answer is never. He knows that she’ll stay so much safer—and happier—that way. And that’s why, as hard as it is, he needs to keep his distance. Because getting too close could flood her with realities better left buried.

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For some reason, K.A. Tucker’s book always pull my attention in and I don’t come back out until I am finished. BUT, its only her first two books in the series that do that to me. I read only the first two books in the Ten Tiny Breaths series and now I don’t even want to go on and read the second book in the Burying Series (and I usually finish what I start). Don’t get me wrong her story lines are amazing and the first books are always impeccable but, eh. I don’t know.

I hate the feeling of rushing through a book. I hate feeling like I have to push myself through a book. I don’t necessarily feel as if I HAD to do it with this book but I did it. I mean it wasn’t terrible by all means. BUT WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO ABOUT IT? Whats done is done and you just have to move on.

This book took off from the start. Jane Doe wakes up in the hospital severely beaten and has no recollection of what happened to her or who she is. Renaming herself Water because of the little tattoo that she found on her body, she’s offered a room at a ranch and starts to rebuild her life one day at a time, but she always stays aware that her present is totally temporary, completely contingent on whether or not she remembers her past.

“I’ve felt like a live wire, exposed: just waiting to make contact with her so I can pass this current through me, so she can feel it too.”

I like how K.A. Tucker intricately weaved the chapters from the past/present into each of the two characters POV. I always love getting to know both of the prominent characters. They are connected some how, but its takes some time to figure out how but don’t worry, you will be pumped with excitement on your journey to discover the truth.

“Something tells me Jesse is the kind of guy that I can always count on. My gut must be telling me that I had someone just like him in my previous life. Someone I trusted.”

I’ll admit, when I finally find out the truth and things start getting figured out holy shit it hits you hard and fast. But I liked it. And I loved Jesse. What he stood for and what he believed in was amazing. I feel so close to this story and the characters that were created for it. Life has thrown me some shitty cards too and I got through it with the help of a special person also.

“Regrets have a tendency to spread when you tie yourself to the wrong person.”

“He said the truth is like that water: it doesn’t matter how hard you try to bury it, it’ll always find some way back to the surface. It’s resilient.”

I am not going to run and pick up the second one right away. I have it on my book shelf but I like knowing that I can take her books one at a time. They usually never have a cliffhanger and it is exceptionally nice to pick up more stories and information on the surrounding characters and friends. So, one day, I will make it to Becoming Rain…but in the mean time, I am content with Burying Water.

Under the Influence (L. B. Simmons)

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Dalton,

I loved you once. A love I thought irrevocable. A love I mistakenly believed could transcend both time and circumstance. Under the influence of my dimwitted, naïve, traitorous heart, I became intoxicated with what I now know was simply a figment of my self-indulgent imagination. So drunk on the feeling, I couldn’t see what was right in front of my face. So foolishly enamored, I blindly followed my heart into the depths of an emotion that would ravage me. 

Years later, I know now what I wish I knew then. I am stronger. Smarter. Tougher. I will not allow myself to be broken again. 

I loved you.

I raged for you.

I wept for you.

And now, I’m letting you go.

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Shut. Up. I loved this book so hard. Then again, I love those books that rip and shred your heart up and shake it around then cram it all back together and just shove it right back in your chest.

I love Spencer.  I love Dalton so damn much. And I hurt with them and loved with them. But boy did I hurt. Part two of this book was so freaking hard for me to read. I felt like I just went thru my high school break up all over again.

This book is different from anything else I have ever read. It doesn’t have a broken girl who needs saving or fixed. Spencer is head strong, independent, and very charismatic. Most importantly this book gave me hope that there is a love out there that can fix every broken piece in a person. 

SO, I just have to say this again. I. Loved. This. Book. It was precious to me and is a story that will stick with me forever. L. B. Simmons writes so magically and heartbreaking you can tell that she is just a beautiful person inside and out. This book was a gem of a read. She wrote a book that gave ME hope. And made ME believe in a true love and soul mates. She made ME believe in second chances and fate.  

So if you love feelings when you are reading a book do yourself a favor with this book. 

Echo (E.K. Blair)

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It’s been said the longest echo ever measured lasted 75 seconds, but I can assure you, this will last much longer. The bang deafened the world around me, muting everything into nullity, allowing the reflection of its destruction to live far beyond its intended life.

It will follow me forever, destroying me—destroying you.

You want answers?

So do I.

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What. The. Fuck did I just read. Actually, never mind. I know what I just read because my brain hurts and I am pissed at the ending just like most of E.K.’s other books. However, this go around I wasn’t pleased. I was bored and I just wanted to go read Bang again. Now, there are parts where I was still shocked and still dumbfounded but all in all the book just didn’t do it for me. I got absolutely NO answers (like the blurb said) and I was just as frustrated when I finished the book as I was when I started it.

“Did you know it was possible to have feelings with no emotions? You can, and I’m proof of it”

Echo picks right back up where Bang left off. Nina gets to have the joy of dealing with all of her lies and deception. Just like Bang, this book is not for the faint of heart. It will test you and push you. It could also be a trigger for some people. I swayed out of my comfort zone a couple of times. I liked the writing style and the usage of words which helped me stick with the book. And I don’t know if this is okay for me to say but I am totes okay with Nina not getting a happy ending. I just haven’t gotten attached to her like I do most characters. Who knows, I could just be weird.

“The fire in me is gone. Only ash and embers remain. Echoes and shadows. Darkness and death.”

THAT CLIFFHANGER THOUGH? It’s probably the only reason I will go into the third one. That and I like to finish series out. I loved Bang so hard. How could I not of loved Echo? It just felt way to repetitive for me. And SO. MANY. BIG. WORDS. I had to use the dictionary more than I am proud to admit. But like I said, I loved the writing. The quotes and Pike are what pulled me through this disaster. Pike makes this whole story so much better. ( I LOVE PIKE) I feel like people were felt too obligated to give E.K. a five star rating. Don’t get me wrong, her writing and story lines are heavenly but… ya know.

Deep Blue Eternity (Natasha Boyd)

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Livvy is on the run. And she’s escaped to the one place nobody will ever find her.

But the isolated cottage isn’t empty. Her refuge is home to a troubled stranger, Tom, there for reasons of his own.

In the intimacy of the abandoned cottage, and the remote wilderness of the island, the electrifying connection between them is impossible to ignore. Both running from their histories and shielding dark secrets, their pasts catch up with them and collide in an unimaginable way.

Deep emotions and powerful chemistry face a painful battle with the tangle of lies, and scars of the past. When the truth emerges, hearts will be shattered.

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A little romance mixed with some lies and a little heartbreak, and whole lot of OMG’s. I had been meaning to read this book for a while and I am glad that I finally put all other books aside and opened this one. So many parts of this book had my goosebumps on point. I’d read a paragraph and feel my leg hairs growing.

This is my first Natasha Boyd book but it won’t be my last. I caught myself holding my breath and skimming sentences just to get to the next twist. Bad idea because I just kept going over every line and relishing in Natasha’s words.

“Having Olivia in the house wasn’t like having another person around. it was like playing host to a whole horde of demons just waiting to let lose.”

I didn’t like Livvy at first (sue me). I was very curious, however about why she was running away. Or rather what she was running away from. But then I fell in love with her. Line by line and word by word I sunk into her thoughts and words and fell in love. Throughout the book you see the shaping and defining she does while she is Tom’s company.

“I loved her in a way that swelled so hard in my chest, it felt like my ribs might crack. how long had i felt this way and shoved it aside?”

Tom. I loved him. Absolutely everything about him. His past his darkness his sincerity you name it I probably loved it. He had my attention from the get go and I wanted to know EVERYTHING about him.

Tough topics and heartbreak is what you will find in this book. And even though their love was intense and tough and inevitable it was so beautiful. So many emotions ran through me and I felt like I was at this cabin being a viewer on the outside.

“Sometimes you realize that people’s priorities will always be weighted against you and to try and change them is emotional suicide.”

So chalk Talon up for another book she loved because this was easily one of my top reads of 2015. 

#booksonbooksonbooks

Since I haven’t posted anything in a couple of days (SORRY, I am trying so hard to get through my book now to review it but I’ve been super busy) I wanted to post some of favorite books and books that I have read more than once. Some are series, some are standalone. Also, posted on my site to the right hand side is my list of TBR (to be read) books as well so feel free to browse them also. I should be done with my book I am currently reading now tonight so I will start that review tomorrow.

Arsen: A Broken Love Story (Mia Asher)

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One glance was all it took…

I’m a cheater.
I’m a liar.
My whole life is a mess.

I love a man.
No, I love two men…
I think.

One makes love to me. The other sets me on fire.
One is my rock. The other is my kryptonite.

I’m broken, lost, and disgusted with myself.

But I can’t stop. This is my story.
My broken love story.

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Okay, cheating is bad. I know it is. You should never do it and it is the most hurtful thing one can go through. I personally could never withstand doing it to my husband. But I dare you to read this book and tell me you don’t feel that hurt for Cathy. But I will warn you, this book will rip your heart out and stomp on it all over the ground like it gives no crap about you. You will want to throw the book across the room and you will be angry. I think I cried all night with this book. Not because of the heartbreak but because how well you learn to love these characters. But OMG this book. My heart. The feelings. The LOVE. Gahhh. Plus, this book is hot hot hot.

(ME IN REAL LIFE ^)

Okay so when we meet Cathy she has the perfect life (or she wants you to think). She’s married to Ben (swoooon) and he exceeds all manly perfection. BUT after Cathy and Ben go through three miscarriages, Cathy loses herself and I mean REALLY lets herself and her worth go. She is a very miserable person and you can’t help but to feel her hurt through these pages. She shuts herself off from the world and most importantly, her husband.

And then HELLOOO ARSEN.

Young, cocky, and playboy Arsen. Arsen Arsen Arsen. He hides nothing including his feelings from Cathy and that alone is enough to make you want to squeal from so many feelings. He makes HER come back to herself and that’s when every thing gets juicy and you need your kleenex and you ugly cry so hard and its terrible. I could never find it in my heart to judge her because I have never experience what she had experienced. So you can’t help but want to hold her and coddle her and cry with her or for her.

“Falling in love with the wrong person is easy. Falling in love with the right person is easier. But falling in love with your soul mate is easiest.”

So, for the whole book you are supposed to feel sorry and so bad for Cathy but My heart was right there with Ben the whole time. He was exceptional. I’ve never read a book with a guy like him in it.  His love for her was extreme and all consuming.

“Arsen became the air I needed to breath, but Ben was my lungs. What good would air be if I didn’t have lungs to begin with?”

BUT WAY TO FREAKING GO, CATHY. Actually I should be saying that to Mia Asher. I haven’t ever read a book of hers that I didn’t like but this one stuck it in the heart and then ripped if out of your lungs like it was just no big thing. I think I took a two week reading break after I finished this one. Please don’t asking me about the ending because HOLY SHIT IT WAS SO INTENSE.

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Gemini (Penelope Ward)

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Diner waitress Allison Abraham had no idea her mundane life was about to dramatically change the day she serves a devastatingly handsome customer.

Allison is immediately captivated by the mysterious man who stared through her soul with his electric blue eyes. After he abruptly leaves the restaurant, she can’t get him out of her head.

She has no idea that he had actually come on a mission to find her.

Cedric Callahan wasn’t expecting to fall in love at first sight with the pretty waitress he’d set out to find. In fact, she was the last woman on Earth he should be having feelings for. But his selfish heart had other plans. Feeling compelled to know her before revealing himself, he makes her believe their meetings are coincidental.

After a passionate romance ignites, Cedric’s lies and secrets are finally revealed, changing both of their lives forever

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I felt like I was bragging on too many books so I picked one out of literally 300 that I just didn’t care for and well, here you go!

I was bored and I yawned way too much. I really enjoyed parts of it and kind of disliked other parts. More so dislike of the other parts. I felt like the story dragged on and on and I really wanted to give this book a shot because I was really amped about this super awesome plot twist but NO…nothing. I felt nothing.

And as I kept reading the story the little nit-picky things just kept bugging me and bugging me. It was like a little gnat that kept flying in front of my face and wouldn’t go away no matter how many times I swatted at it. I liked Allison. I really did. But Cedric didn’t do it for me. Like their hook up for example, did NADA for me. It was not “magical” or “electrifying” it was just meh, extraordinary. So if the sex is also terrible in the book I know it’s all going to a biiiiig no no book for me.

OKAY, so towards the end I “awwed” and love-sighed but, the little bit of sweet things didn’t compensate for all the times I yawned and checked my location to see if I was almost done. I didn’t completely give up on Penelope Ward though. I have a couple more of her books on my Kindle ready to read so I am really pulling through for those.